Tonight i'll cast you out of my life..

If you asked me why u did not hear from me, it’s because one of the most difficult tasks for the human heart to be engaged in is the act of saying goodbye to pple they care about..
To even breath the word ‘goodbye’ creates a lump in my throat..

We all find ourselves saying goodbye to significant people in our lives from time to time. This is an inevitable fact of life but it does not get easier with practice.

Nevertheless, I am grateful for this reminder of just how precious you were, once, the intimate fabric that define my life..

In loving memory of Halim

Dear Halim..

I was awoken up by the incessant ringing on my handphone, and wondered why in the world did all the guys keep calling me..

I returned the call to Justin. He told me that he got bad news.. it was about you..i thought that u were involved in an accident, but i didn’t expect it to be fatal..

He said you passed away in a road traffic accident. I was shocked, angry and my mind went blank.. i rushed down to the accident site, and there you were, lying there motion-less.. The blood streaming from your head and u were wearing your favourite jade necklace..
We have all seen road traffic accidents ever so frequently, but why did it have to be you?!?
My tears fell when i saw u there, cried again when they towed your bike.. and now.. i just can’t help it..

Bike enthusiast you were, i remember asking you why u wanted to ride a bike as it was dangerous.. but i have to admit that you look really cool on ur bike that im so glad i told u this at the chalet retreat of 2008..

My dear Halim, my precious probationer..

Ever so devoted to work, you volunteered to be involved in all the operations, thou not compulsory.. i said that perhaps your body need to rest.. not to overwork, but you said you don’t have much to do at home, and that if you were to be in office, you could see us, and hang out with us..

I’ll remember you as always being the protective one over me. I was so angry when SOMEONE at work passed comments about you to others, i actually confronted the person, telling him not to pass comments about you to others, and to talk to me personally if he had a problem..
I hate it when others misjudge you, and dun wan you to get hurt, just like how you would speak up for me.

You wanted to do something right in your life, let your parents be proud of you and that’s why you made the choice in your career.. why did God take you away just like that?
I was your trainer and so we spend countless hours together, cruising along the busy streets, singing along to our favourite tunes from the radio, or just talking.. i knew i could tell you everything.. how embarassing or crappy the matter was.. and you would listen with an open heart~

You told me that u got me a farewell gift when i was leaving the company and wanted to pass it to me, but i was tied up at work.. Now all i have are pictures of you.. the ones we took at my last day of work, posing along the ‘runaway’ outside office :~(
Heard from Siti, the night before the accident that u finally got a pigeon hole-from me.. where i used to have my letters kept there so it held special significance.. and how u were proud of me, now that i’m doing public relations..

I never had the chance to tell you how proud i was, of you.. everyday..
I have helped you to convey the message that you were looking forward for your ‘confirmation’ and that of your inner-most feelings..

Still can’t accept the fact that you’re gone.. this is all too sudden for me..
Feeling devastated :~(