What would have been a yr's anniversary..

Dear Diary,

I can’t help but noticed that the day’s drawing near- what could have been a year’s anniversary ended with a sad twist of fate..

No more New Year’s resolution for me this 2008.. wishes had never come true..they’ll never will..even if it was just one teeny weeny wish for us~

All i have have are memories of you. If these fade, i’ll have nothing left..

I’ve seen people crying on the streets before and i’ve always been glad that it wasn’t me. Now, i’m the crazy sobbing person..i want to sob and howl as if tears are blood, as if i’m not just crying but bleeding out my pain..

If i met a nice guy, i wouldn’t know what to do with him. Nobody could compare to you..
I was staying up every single night after you left.. i was scared of falling asleep too early and waking at that terrible pre-dawn hour when everything seems even more negative and all the dark thoughts rush in so fast that i have no strength to fight them off..

Every time i see the light flashing on my phone, my heart’ll take a leap. The triumph of insane hope over hard-won experience..

No one knows how happy u made me, because u do not show ur affection when we’re out with other people..

Maybe if i’d stood up for myself more, it would have meant that we had a better rship..

Some days i’m just sad, other days i’m really sad :~(

I still wait for the miracle i know wouldn’t come. And when it doesn’t come, i take a deep breath and let the truth sink in

I much rather be ignorant and blindly hopeful, than have my eyes opened, see the situation as it really is, and know that you’re not with me..

I really wish Michael wouldn’t keep dragging you into the conversation; just when i tink that i’ve recovered from one reference, he drops in another one..

Tonight, i’ll close my eyes and create a little figure of you in my mind, pushing it back, making it recede down the dark corridors

Human beings are strange creatures. There’s nothing we want as much as what we cant have
Be remembering this very day, one year ago..

(This post is dedicated to you, cos u’ll prob never come across it anyway..)